Edging is everything you're looking for in an orgasm: a longer time spent in bed turned on, an intense climax, and a period of total exhaustion from the thrill of it all. And yes, you can even edge all by yourself! The idea behind it is to be stimulated so much that you're about to orgasm . . . but don't (yet). Some call it "teasing," "surfing," "peaking" — it's all the same. Edging's not only a fun way to switch things up in the bedroom, but it's a great way to better understand your body and what it takes to get yourself to the finish line. In fact, we spoke with Dr. Emily Morse — a sex expert and host of the popular podcast Sex With Emily — about the topic, and she agrees that edging is an exceptional exercise. "Edging is a great practice for all genders to learn more about their bodies and orgasmic threshold. Not only is it a great tool for people who experience premature ejaculation (edging can help penis-owners with stamina), but it's also a way to have longer, stronger, and more intense orgasms."
What Is Edging?
Edging is the practice of delaying your orgasm by repeating sexual stimulation until you get to the "edge" and fall into an orgasmic euphoria. It's essentially teasing yourself into thinking you're about to have an orgasm, and then delaying gratification and going for the "O" all over again. The "stop-and-start method" as some may call it. As a result, your orgasm is more intense. This can be a fun practice to do both alone or with a partner and is a great way to learn about yourself, your partner, and what gets you both off. Edging also helps extend sex, so if premature ejaculation is a thing, edging can help you or your partner last longer.
How Do I Talk to My Partner About Edging?
Talking to a sexual partner about sex can often be daunting. Dr. Morse shared with POPSUGAR some great tips for combating this. "Use the three T's of Communication: Timing, Tone, and Turf. For example, if you're trying to talk to your partner about edging (or any sexual activity you're interested in exploring), you'll want to do so in a neutral environment. That means not in the bedroom. Instead, try talking at the kitchen table over coffee or while you're on a walk. You also want to think about the timing — no one wants to have a sex talk when they're HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, or tired). Opt for when you're both feeling relaxed, at ease, and open. And then there's tone. Lead with compassion and curiosity."
How Long Should You Edge For?
Dr. Morse recommends that "folks listen to their bodies and see what works for them." She continued, "If you're experimenting with edging, feel yourself get closer to the 'edge' or climax and pause or cease stimulation so that you can reach equilibrium. I recommend doing this somewhere between 2-5 times, depending on what feels good for you. If you're new, start with 2 and build up from there."
Dr. Morse also has a great guide to edging on her website, which you can check out here.