Image Source: Getty / Dimitrios Kambouris
"Every time I've gone to this beach club in Miami I get papped - somehow when I check in paps know and get me in my bikini and every time I've felt super vulnerable and unprepared - I've worn bikinis that were to [sic] small and paid no mind to how I looked, then saw pictures online and comments and been so upset," the musician wrote two days ago.
In the post, Cabello wrote about her own body-image insecurities and questioned what a "'healthy' woman's body" looks like:
I reminded myself when it impacted myself esteem [sic] that I was thinking the culture's thoughts and not my own. A culture who has gotten so used to an image of what a 'healthy' woman's body looks like that is completely not real for a lot of women. Photoshop, restrictive eating, over exercising, and choosing angles that make our bodies look different than how they are in the moment and in their natural form, where we take a deep breath, when we eat a meal, when we allow the waves to tussle us around. I remind myself of this, listen to podcasts on intuitive eating, follow women who accept their cellulite, stretch marks, bellies, bloating, and weight fluctuations … and still. I'm a single woman in her 20s in the middle of a shit ton of promo and i want to feel like I look "good."
Today I got a new bikini, a whole fuckin cute outfit, put lip gloss on, and didn't eat anything too heavy before going in the OCEAN cause I knew it was gonna be basically a whole photoshoot. I held my core so tight my abs hurt and didn't breathe and barely smiled and was so self conscious of where the paps were the whole time I couldn't let go and relax and do what we're meant to do when we go out into nature. I tried to pretend they weren't there but I couldn't and I held my breath from the sun chair to the ocean.
I knew I looked "good" in the pictures and thought I would feel accomplished and yet Ive never had a worse time at the beach. I felt the emptiness and sadness of our culture's thoughts that became my thoughts.
Many celebs, including J Balvin, Katherine Langford, Kimiko Glenn, and more, rallied around the 25-year-old singer to offer their support. Danae Mercer commented on the post, "I am so sorry. And in the same breath, I'm so thankful you've spoken about it. You are a wonderful soul." Justin Baldoni wrote, "This." "Emily in Paris" star Lily Collins wrote, "I feel you and am sending all the love and positive vibes your way."
In the Instagram post, Cabello reflected on her experience in a bikini, writing, "I wanted to talk about this because we see pictures of women and praise them for looking for, for looking fit or 'healthy,' but what is health if you are so fixated on what your body looks like that your mental health suffers and you can't enjoy your life? Who am I trying to look attractive for and am I even attractive to myself if I can't let loose and relax and have fun and be playful on a beautiful day at the beach?"
She continued, "I'm not yet at the point in my journey where I can not give a fuck. Intellectually, I know what I look like doesn't determine how healthy, happy, or sexy I am. Emotionally, the messaging I get from our world is loud in my own head. Ironically, all the therapy, all the inner work is to try and get back to feeling like 7 year old me on the beach. I'm mourning her today. Happy silly, breathing, pretending to be a mermaid, FREE."
This isn't the first time the "Cinderella" actor has opened up about her struggles on the Internet. In an essay for WSJ Magazine, she wrote about her battle with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety over the last year. "I was embarrassed and ashamed," Cabello wrote, noting that her life on social media did not directly align with what she was experiencing. "Social media can make us feel like we should be as perfect as everybody else seems to be. Far from being a sign of weakness, owning our struggles and taking the steps to heal is powerful."